Last year I did an article on dealing with chronic illness as an equestrian. This was inspired by my own struggles with severe asthma and epilepsy. However, I recently got a question from a reader, Jesse, asking for advice on how best to help trainers understand chronic illness. This is a great question that does not have a one size fits all answer. I figured it was a complex enough topic that it deserved an article of its own.
Q: Do you have any recommendations for how to help a trainer understand a chronic illness?
A: Be honest, firm, and clear about your illness/disability, limitations, and expectations from the very beginning
It is important to set expectations from the very beginning before any money changes hands and any training begins. Set up a time to sit down and talk with the trainer about your circumstances. This will allow the trainer to decide if this is something they can cope with and you to decide if–judging by their response–the trainer is someone you can work with. That being said, for an already established training relation, arrange such a meeting as soon as possible.
Prepare Your Talking Points Before Hand
Make a list of all the points you need to address during your meeting with the trainer. There are a few basic questions that need to be addressed:
1. What is your illness/disability?
I know some people may not be comfortable disclosing their disability. However, if you are requesting some sort of accommodation you must be prepared to share at least the relevant points of your condition.
For example, my severe asthma. My asthma attacks can sometimes creep up on me with very little warning if I am engrossed in something like training. Enclosed dusty places are worse for my asthma. I can deal with them if need be, but I am more prone to asthma attacks when working in indoor arenas as opposed to outdoor arenas.
For my epilepsy, my seizures are non-convulsive, but the larger ones may result in collapse. It can impair my balance on bad days. My horse has learned to compensate for this, but that means occasionally stepping sideways or refusing an upwards transition if she feels I am too unbalanced. She may even go so far as to stop altogether and refuse to move off the spot. At which point I get off. These are not mistakes. They are deliberate on her part and I will not correct her for it. Any trainer I work with must take this into account. I also have a seizure response service dog.
2. What are your boundaries?
Lay out the non-negotiable limitations of your condition
I carry an inhaler with me at all times and may suddenly stop and need to use it. I will be more likely to do so if I am working in an enclosed arena which is more dusty. If my asthma is worse I may not be up to the more strenuous exercises on a given day. I will communicate when I cannot physically perform an exercise. My limitations may change from one day to another. This may lead to having to scrap the lesson plan at last minute if I am not feeling up to it and need to find something less physically demanding to work on.
My limitations for epilepsy are quite similar. My epilepsy may result in last minute changes in lesson plan or cancellation of the lesson all together with little to no warning.
3. What is your negotiable middle ground?
Remember that that there may be a limit to the accommodations available for your disability. Trainers are limited to what their facilities provide. If you have to work in an outdoor arena, but the facility only has an indoor arena or their outdoor arena is reserved for other purposes, there is only so much the trainer can do. You must be understanding of this.
In the example of my asthma, I prefer to work in an outdoor arena as much as possible. However, I will cope with an indoor if there is no other option.
We would have to figure out what to do about last minute cancellations as many trainers have a cancellation policy that charges for the lesson if it is cancelled last minute.
4. What are any tricky negotiations of accommodations that may come up during the discussion?
There are some disabilities that most trainers have never encountered before. Therefore, they will have no frame of reference with how to deal with them. This may lead to an automatic response of “no” because people are prone to jumping to conclusions.
For example, the tricky matter of my service dog. On the one hand, federal law would normally cover my right to have her present at all times. However, there is a clause covering a business’ right to deny a service dog access if the dog’s presence presents a “fundamental alteration of business.”
Horses are prey animals. The dog has grown up around them so she knows how to behave around them. But, some horses would be spooked by her anyway. On one hand, if the farm has dogs of their own, they could not use this argument to deny access as long as I bring someone along to handle her while I’m on the horse. In this case, her presence would be non-negotiable. On the other hand, if the farm has no dogs and the horses are not used to dogs, they could potentially invoke this clause, making her presence a matter of negotiation.
Schedule a Time to Sit Down and Talk
Take the time to sit down and talk with the trainer one-on-one. Take your list of talking points along to reduce the stress of the situation. Be calm, polite and honest. Listen to any questions and concerns that the trainer may have. Address them as best as you can.
If you can come to an agreement, stick to it. Don’t go trying to change your accommodations without warning. If you do need a change in accommodation, schedule another time to sit down and talk about an necessary changes.
Facing Rejection
As pessimistic as it sounds, hope for the best but plan for the worst. Prepare yourself for rejection. Some trainers will never be understanding of disabilities no matter how politely and firmly you explain your limitations. It is frustrating when a trainer refuses to acknowledge a rider’s limitations or disability. But you have to think of your own happiness and well being first. If your trainer rejects all attempts to politely and firmly explain your circumstances and negotiate accommodation, it is time to find a new trainer. Unfortunately, this may be difficult depending on how many trainers are in your area. In this case, you have a few options:
- Stay with the trainer and make concessions that may negatively affect your health and well being
- Leave the trainer and spend extra time/money on a trainer that may be more expensive and/or further away but who understands your limitations
- Leave the trainer and do the best you can learning on your own until you can find another trainer who fits your budget and travel radius and understands your limitations
There are no easy answers, but your health and well being should always come first. If you are under age your parents or guardians should be involved in the discussion process with the trainer and the decision making should the trainer not be willing to accommodate your needs.
Reaction to Rejection
In a case where a trainer is unwilling to work to accommodate your disability, taking to social media to rally the SJW’s into a frenzy of public outrage would be the last thing you want to do. Doing so could very well drive the trainer out of business and get you blacklisted in the equestrian community as a whole. Believe me, the world is a small place. Do that to a trainer and no will ever work with you again.
