Equestrian Problems: 5 Problems Only Equestrians Will Understand

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No matter how big the tack room gets, it will never be big enough

If you’ve owned or leased a horse for more than five minutes, you’ve probably encounter this problem. Somehow you seem to end up with three saddles for every horse, two saddle pads for every saddle and enough bits to equip half the state (only two of which get used on a regular basis). Never mind the pile of splint boots, SMB’s, polo wraps, bell boots, and standing bandages in just about every color under sun. After all, a girl’s got to have her options. Honestly, who in their right mind would limit themselves to one color choice. That’s just absurd. Most of them were probably on sale anyway. So, that’s not really spending money. That’s saving money. Add all that up and you probably saved over $1,000! You could buy another horse with that money!

The Potato Chip Dilemma

Yup, we’ve all heard it. “Horses are like potato chips. You can never have just one.” That very dilemma has seen the destruction of marriages, the implosion of friendships, and the decline of many healthy financial futures into a mountain of debt — usually courtesy of the vet, farrier, and any number of equine specialists. Yet somehow we still love them, despite them being professional money eaters and destroyers of our sanity and financial futures.

Related Content: Equestrian Problems Part 2: GIF Edition

The Incessant Need to be Color Coordinated

Oh the trials of a fashion connoisseur. You buy that beautiful new saddle pad that you’ve been eyeing for months only to realize that it doesn’t match anything else in your tack room. Now you’ve got rush out to the nearest tack shop and stock up on SMB’s, split boots, standing bandages, bell boots, bridle, reins, breast collar, cooler, fly sheet, fly mask, show shirt, chaps, and helmet (or hat). Heaven forbid that Sparky would be forced to wear a purple saddle pad with green split boots. That just wouldn’t do at all.

Then what happens when you swap your gray horse out for a chestnut? A chestnut horse just can’t wear green. That would just be breaking the rules. There’s a color wheel and everything. So now the chestnut horse needs all new tack because the gray horse wore tack that was light oil and no one wants to ride a chestnut in light oil. That just wouldn’t do at all. Do they give out frequent flier miles for tack shops? Bulk discounts? Those little punch cards like you get at coffee shops? Someone needs to do that. Why hasn’t anyone done that yet?

Horse wellness comes before rider wellness

You know you have a problem when your horse is eating a carefully balanced diet of the best feed you can afford while you’re living off of ramen and peanut butter sandwiches. He’s living in a lush pasture or a comfy stall and you’re living out of the back of your car. Priorities. Don’t worry, we’re all right there with you.