If you’ve ever been to a horse show you know there will always be some types of riders that get one everybody’s nerves. Here are 9 horse show pet peeves that drive other competitors insane.
1. The Backseat Barrel Racer
One of the biggest pet peeves for timed event competitors. Oh yes, we’ve all heard it. The mom, sister, aunt, cousin, or other (generally female) relative, friend, or acquaintance who spends the whole run screaming advice from the back 40.
Push, push, push, push!
Look up!
Hands up!
Push him!
Turn, turn, turn!
Push, push, push, push!
What is this? The maternity ward? I thought we were barrel racing, not having a baby! Someone who is a good enough barrel racer to be competing should not need a running commentary to remember how to do their job.
9 times out of 10 the rider is so embarrassed at the public display that they exit the arena looking like they want to do some real damage to the back seat barrel harpy. Not that anyone can really blame them though because more often than not the shrieking commentary is more distracting than helpful.
2. The Warm up Pen Hogs
There is always that one rider who meanders around the warm up pen in the opposite direction as everyone else, cutting off circles and leaving a trail of almost-wrecks, spooked horses, and furious riders in their wake.
There are rules people, warm up pen etiquette. Ok, so maybe they are unwritten rules, but they don’t change from show to show. There is a universal code that applies to all disciplines.
- Walkers on the rail.
- Canter in the center.
- Pass to the inside.
- Call your passes.
- The faster you are going the more room you give to pass.
- Red ribbons for kickers.
- No running up someone else’s tail pipe.
- If you’re going to go against the established direction of travel, move to the center or call a direction change.
3. The Absentee Parent
There will always be that one parent who lets their children run loose unsupervised. The little hooligans will be running everywhere, spooking horses and generally causing mayhem. They are putting their children’s lives and the lives of others and risk because they are just too lazy to chaperon their wayward offspring.
4. The Pampered Pooches
You want to bring your dog? Fine. But make sure its trained. Don’t let it chase the horses, bark, growl, snap, or generally be a little menace. And for the love of all keep it on a leash! This is why so many show venues are starting to ban dogs because too many people don’t know how to — or just don’t bother to — discipline their wayward canines.
I’m all for bringing well behaved dogs that have been well socialized with horses and have good manners. But constant yapping and attempting to chase every horse that comes within 50 feet is just unacceptable. Leave your dog at home with the kids until they both learn to behave respectably.
5. The Entry Gate Terror
This one is mostly for timed event horses. There will always be those horses that need to have the entire alleyway cleared because they need a full entourage to get into the arena. There is the trainer dangling off the bridle and the two friends coming along behind — sometimes on horses, sometimes on foot — with crops and whips to beat the horse through the gate. The horse is rearing and thrashing while the rider is screaming: “get out of the way! Clear the alleyway!”
First of all, if your horse needs to be beat and dragged into the arena, you need to take a step back and evaluate why he hates his job so much. Is he in pain? Are you a starfisher beating on him the whole run and jerking on his face? All of the above perhaps?
Secondly, go back to the practice pen and teach your horse some manners. A horse that tries to kill you and everyone around him every time you enter the arena has no business in a show environment. Did you forget the absentee parents letting their little munchkins run loose unsupervised and the pampered pooches getting underfoot at every opportunity? Train your horse. Please.
6. The Runaway Rail Horse
Oh yeah. There is always that one horse in the rail class who is constantly bolting down the rail scattering the other contestants like ninepins.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
Ok, I get that when you are seasoning a horse things won’t always go as planned and mistakes will be made. Shit happens. But I’m talking about the horse that spend the whole class at show after show bolting around the arena. Serial bolters have no place in a show ring. Go home, train your horse, then come back and enjoy the show.
7. The Railbirds
Ah, the railbirds that know everything about everything. They are the girls who sit on their horses like couches all day running their mouths about what everyone else is doing wrong in each class. They have all the latest fashions in tack and clothes, but when it comes time to pony up in the ring their performance falls sadly short because they spend more time bashing everyone else than actually focusing on their own riding and when someone tries to help them they brush off the advice because they are convinced they already know everything.
8. The Bitless Drama Queens
They tend to be the overbearing natural horsemanship types. Now, don’t get me wrong, not all bitless natural horsemanship people are like this, but I’m talking about the ones that are drowning in the cool aid and loudly badmouth anyone who uses a bit and rides in a way they don’t like. They spend the whole show acting like they know everything, but when it comes time to put the money where their mouth is they fall sadly short. Then they proceed to mouth off how they didn’t win because the judge was prejudice against bitless, uneducated, the show was rigged, etc, etc, etc.
9. The Serial Horse Trader
Daddy’s little girl. Oh yes, they girl who looks like she has everything. She has the latest, most expensive tack, clothing, and trainers. She’s got three $10,000 horses that she runs into the ground until they are dead lame and worthless then daddy does out and buys her three more. She’s the who’s who of the horse world and cleans up in the show ring. She knows every judge and trainer on the circuit and is touted as such a wonderful rider even though it takes her less than a season to ruin a horse. Every show circuit has at least one.
Cover Photo by eXtensionHorses
